When reading Bukowski I picture the poor souls of the world. I see the men and women outside the homeless shelters smoking cigarettes, before they enter the hell they call home. I picture the poor people who can`t see a doctor, because the powerful haven`t figured a way to give health care to all. I picture the addicts of the world who suffer because of their addictions. I smell the scent of a racetrack, which Bukowski wrote about all so much .The scent of eroding dreams and false hopes. Those two dollar bettors hoping to hit that magical triple, while struggling to pay the rent. I can see the bartender throwing out the drunks, and can see the dark despair of all those who feel hope is nothing more than a myth.
I make connections to all those I have known who have taken one way roads down to pain. I can hear the sounds of the prisoners in the jails screaming out in agony, wondering if it was them who chose their road, or life that chose it for them. All that I see in his writing, is all that I want to keep my future kids away from. I can see why many people rather not read about these horrors, but to me it is a reminder of why I love to teach. Teaching gives a person the chance to help children go down different roads in life, and keep them away from the darkness Bukowski writes about.
Bukowski never learned to write, he lived to write. What he saw and what he felt is what he wrote. He made no apologies for the way he lived his life, and gave the reader a first row seat to view it. The way he lived is a lesson to no one, the way he wrote is a lesson to all writers. It teaches writers to write the truth, and let the reader make up their own mind. I don`t feel sad while reading Bukowski. I feel thankful for putting myself in a position to help others and to try to help them avoid the harsh realities of life. I feel thankful for being alive and trying to live a meaningful existence.
On page 215 is the poem "Put out the light." I wrote some about this poem in one of the earlier blogs. I think the important thing to understand when reading this poem, is that it came near the end of his life. He refers to death as a vaction, but I don`t think he really feels that way. In order to write about death you must think about death. The only time people think about death is when they fear it. I could be wrong, but that is what I am thinking when reading this poem. He states to go on "Living is much harder" this is Bukowski as an old man reflecting on how hard of a life he has had. I think about all the people struggling in the world and wonder, if they feel the same way.
On page 217 is the poem "Foxholes". This poem starts with the line"Yes I know there should be a God." He goes on to state that "I remember that during World War Two there was a saying there are no atheists in foxholes. Of course, there were, but I suppose not very many." I think about what my father has told me about war. My father was shot in Vietnam and he has told me in the past that a solider either cries out for God or their mother when they are shot. It must be hard to face death at such a young age, without having the belief that their is a higher power. This poem was also written at a point in Bukowski`s life where he was thinking about death more. I start to think that I hope there is God, because otherwise how many young pople have died in War without a God to go to.
On page 218 is the poem "Calm Elation". This poem is written in January 1993 right before President Clinton was going to be inaugurated. He writes about the president,"He`s so damn young I could be his grandfather, still he doesn`t seem like a bad chap but he`s sure inherited a mess." If he was alive today he might very well say the same thing. He dies less than two months after writing this poem and he admits to thinking too much about death and fate. This is the third poem in a row where he brings up death. He writes "A man can damn near perish for failure to pay a gas bill, get a tooth pulled or replace a leaking valve stem on a tire."This makes me think about how fragile life is. I think that is what sums up these 20 pages, how vulnerable we all are to this thing we call life.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
blog number three
When I read Bukowski it shows me that writing comes in many forms. There isn`t one correct way to write and the true judge of a writer comes from the emotions he generates from the reader. He takes you to a place, where you don`t notice you are reading a book, but actually think you are viewing life. It takes you on a journey through human insecurities, vulnerabilities, and just plain old raw emotions. It brings you where you don`t want to go, but you keep on reading anyway. The greatest weakness writers can have is caring what others think of them, because once they care about that, they edit themselves to a point where their voice is no longer their own. Bukowski has no such problem.
In his poem "About the mail lately" he writes "I have never been too interested in living, it has been hard work, slave labor, still is"(pg173). This poem demonstrates his belief that life is not only a journey, but a painful one. It is a statement that very few writers would write and a statement that is certainly not uplifting. However it shows you the true Bukowski. It allows you to see how he views life, that life is just being a slave to existence.
Bukowski writes in his poem "Sunbeam" "Sometimes when you are in hell and it is continuous you get a bit giddy"(187). This shows who Bukowski is as a writer and as a soul. He is one who craves the fires' of hell. He wants pain and wants to show the reader that he can survive it. He wants to be burned and come back for more. Bukowski loved boxing and often went to see fights in L.A. I am sure what he loved about it was the ability of boxers to take pain and keep on fighting. Bukowski continues to fight years after his heart beat has stopped.
To learn more about Charles Bukowski visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bukowski
I already wrote some about "Proper Credentials are needed to join"(PG207) in my first blog. However I would like to go into more detail of it. In this poem he rants against the world. He admits to his addiction, but he sees it as a sign of valor, instead of a sign of weakness. He points out that he started drinking at the age of 11. This is his way of saying I am still here. He rants about how drinking has put him in jail some 15 times, but he wants you to know he is still here.The pain is nothing to him, but the toll that it cost to live life.He claims that those who give up drinking were never really drinkers. That they are quitters and people pretending that they know what its like to have lived. I don`t agree with this. Addictions are very hard to overcome and anyone who can move past them should be admired. However I love this poem, because he really shows you the darkness of addictions. He speaks in the voice of the addiction and will not back down.I reflect on all those who have fallen prey to addictions, and pray for all those fighting them.
His poem "Silly dammed thing anyhow"he writes about the lost of a animal.He states that"it ate everything we did and we often watched tv together."He paints a picture of it being part of the family. Then comes the sad part" one evening we came home and it was gone." The animal did not just die, but was murdered by people in his neighborhood. When he finds the dog he writes what he sees, "There was a sign above its severed throat: we don`t want things like this in our neighborhood." In reading this you assume the animal is a dog, but he never states that. I think about my dog that died and how it was like you losing a part of the family. I wonder what was it about this animal that made the neighbors so upset. I guess with Bukowski who knows, he might of had a tiger living with him.
In the poem "Moth to the flame" he writes about his dislike of Dylan Thomas. This is a very short poem, with very little meaning. It is not even a half of page. It ends with"sucker-punched by his own vanity and the accolades of fools, he pissed on the centuries and they pissed back all over him." This shows Bukowski has very little respect for him as a writer and as a person. The one thing about this poem that stands out to me is Bukowski`s hatred for the establishment.They think Dylan Thomas is good, therefore Bukowski see`s his fame as a creation of the establishment. I think part of this has to do with Bukowski being looked down on by some of the academic community, while Dylan Thomas is more accepted.
In his poem "7 come 11"(213) he writes about the creative process of making his poems. He states "Upstream through it all to end up sitting here in front of this machine with cigarette dangling and drink at hand." He is talking about the hard process of life. He is fighting upstream trying to stay afloat in life, just so he can write about it on his typewriter. The first think that comes to my mind, is thank God for computers. I would hate to have to use typewriters. The next thing that comes to my mind is how he lives to write. "Just to stay alive and to type these words with no net below." This statement makes me go back to what I wrote in blog number one, there is no net for a writer. A writer puts it all out there and must have no shame and then they either sink or swim.
In his poem "About the mail lately" he writes "I have never been too interested in living, it has been hard work, slave labor, still is"(pg173). This poem demonstrates his belief that life is not only a journey, but a painful one. It is a statement that very few writers would write and a statement that is certainly not uplifting. However it shows you the true Bukowski. It allows you to see how he views life, that life is just being a slave to existence.
Bukowski writes in his poem "Sunbeam" "Sometimes when you are in hell and it is continuous you get a bit giddy"(187). This shows who Bukowski is as a writer and as a soul. He is one who craves the fires' of hell. He wants pain and wants to show the reader that he can survive it. He wants to be burned and come back for more. Bukowski loved boxing and often went to see fights in L.A. I am sure what he loved about it was the ability of boxers to take pain and keep on fighting. Bukowski continues to fight years after his heart beat has stopped.
To learn more about Charles Bukowski visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bukowski
I already wrote some about "Proper Credentials are needed to join"(PG207) in my first blog. However I would like to go into more detail of it. In this poem he rants against the world. He admits to his addiction, but he sees it as a sign of valor, instead of a sign of weakness. He points out that he started drinking at the age of 11. This is his way of saying I am still here. He rants about how drinking has put him in jail some 15 times, but he wants you to know he is still here.The pain is nothing to him, but the toll that it cost to live life.He claims that those who give up drinking were never really drinkers. That they are quitters and people pretending that they know what its like to have lived. I don`t agree with this. Addictions are very hard to overcome and anyone who can move past them should be admired. However I love this poem, because he really shows you the darkness of addictions. He speaks in the voice of the addiction and will not back down.I reflect on all those who have fallen prey to addictions, and pray for all those fighting them.
His poem "Silly dammed thing anyhow"he writes about the lost of a animal.He states that"it ate everything we did and we often watched tv together."He paints a picture of it being part of the family. Then comes the sad part" one evening we came home and it was gone." The animal did not just die, but was murdered by people in his neighborhood. When he finds the dog he writes what he sees, "There was a sign above its severed throat: we don`t want things like this in our neighborhood." In reading this you assume the animal is a dog, but he never states that. I think about my dog that died and how it was like you losing a part of the family. I wonder what was it about this animal that made the neighbors so upset. I guess with Bukowski who knows, he might of had a tiger living with him.
In the poem "Moth to the flame" he writes about his dislike of Dylan Thomas. This is a very short poem, with very little meaning. It is not even a half of page. It ends with"sucker-punched by his own vanity and the accolades of fools, he pissed on the centuries and they pissed back all over him." This shows Bukowski has very little respect for him as a writer and as a person. The one thing about this poem that stands out to me is Bukowski`s hatred for the establishment.They think Dylan Thomas is good, therefore Bukowski see`s his fame as a creation of the establishment. I think part of this has to do with Bukowski being looked down on by some of the academic community, while Dylan Thomas is more accepted.
In his poem "7 come 11"(213) he writes about the creative process of making his poems. He states "Upstream through it all to end up sitting here in front of this machine with cigarette dangling and drink at hand." He is talking about the hard process of life. He is fighting upstream trying to stay afloat in life, just so he can write about it on his typewriter. The first think that comes to my mind, is thank God for computers. I would hate to have to use typewriters. The next thing that comes to my mind is how he lives to write. "Just to stay alive and to type these words with no net below." This statement makes me go back to what I wrote in blog number one, there is no net for a writer. A writer puts it all out there and must have no shame and then they either sink or swim.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
blog number two, writing about selected text
Charles Bukowski invites his audience to a world most of us do not want to know exists. He writes about those who have become prey to the harsh world of reality. He chose to live in the dark alleys of society, but wrote about them with such brilliance, that his stories could not be ignored. He writes about the rejects of society, a group which he clearly considers himself a card carrying member of. I think about the importance of overcoming adversity, while reading his works. Anyone can be happy and successful when the going is good, the true determining factor of one`s life comes with how they handle the tough times.
In his poem Farewell, Farewell(pg172) he writes about his upcoming death. He writes about how he has earned his stripes by surviving and living in this unhappy world. He writes "In the face of this unhappy world, who but a fool would want to linger". This line demonstrates his true distain for the world that he shall soon be leaving. He has seen too much pain, and felt too much despair, to want to fight any harder just to survive a few more days, weeks, or months, in this miserable world. The same tone is used in his poem "Put out the light"(pg215) where he states "Most, given a choice between eternal life or death, will always choose the latter". This line demonstrates his belief that enough is enough. That there comes a point in everyone`s life, who has lived long enough, where they are ready to say no mas.
One of his most telling poems about his life is "Proper credentials are needed to join"(pg207) in this poem he demonstrates his dislike for those who he believes have been "Untouched by life". He brings up that he has been arrested 15 to 20 times, and that he has four D.U.I.`S. "Then he states" I have been drinking, with gusto, for 54 years and intend to continue to do so". He believes that the scars that drinking has brought him is his badge of courage. In this poem he complains about "These young,blithe,slender,unscathed,delicate creatures who claim to have vanquished the dreaded evil of drink"(pg208)! John Edwards a former two time presidential candidate often used the term "Two Americas". Bukowski believes in the two World`s theory, the world in which most of us live in and that is often written about, and the dark alley world that he lives in, that is so rarely written about. In this poem he does not tolerate those who live in the first world pretending they know anything about the latter world.
The poem "Notes on some poetry"(PG199) is a poem where Bukowski describes poetry he does not like. He staes"These are poets who write what I call the comfortable clever poem."What I think about when I read that line is the absence of emotion that is in some literature. It makes me think back to a professor of mine who told me that the greatest weakness a writer can have is shame. If one self edits their emotions in order to not embarrass themselves, then they lose their writing voice. Bukowski later refers to this problem as a "Life gone cozy". What I believe he means by that line, is that if life becomes too comfortable for someone, it will become hard for them to create raw emotion in poetry. I think about a writer who once told me that happy people don`t write. I think that is what this poem is about, that it takes pain to create great literature.
The "Buzz" on page 201 is about gamblers at a horse track. This poem talks about the pain that comes from a life of gambling. I think back to my many expierences with gambling, and I am thankful that I am far away from that life now. He writes"They come day after day and lose and lose". What he is talking about here is how harmful an addiction can be. These pour souls care about nothing, but making their next bet. The life of a gambler is wrapped around nothing, but pain. He talks about horse players here who are in many ways the worst of the lot. He talks about how they are dirty and don`t care about what they wear. He writes at the end of the poem that "Its the roar of the impossible". I think about the impossible odds against a gambler, when reading this line. A gambler is trying to create their own reality, which is very similar to a writer. That desire to escape reality, is the reason why so many great writers fall victim to addictions. He writes in the poem"You`ve have got to have it now and then, you `ve got to. A shot of fire, an explosion!" This make me reflect on why people choose to live a certain way. What he does not understand here is that you can get that shot of fire, without burning yourself alive.
In his poem "A simple Kindness"(pg203) he reflects on how hard it is to find immortality.He searches for immortality by creating great art that will last way beyond his heart beat. He writes"Immortality can be a very brief expierence". He is complaining about when he gets drunk, he thinks he has written a masterpiece. However when he wakes up he realizes that it was just a piece of trash. In the end of the poem he writes"The best thing about self rejection is that it saves that obnoxious duty from being somebody else`s problem." This is his way of talking about all the poems he has thrown away in his search for immortality. I reflect on how tough writing can be. It is not easy to put yourself out there for the world to reject, but that is what great writers do.I can picture Bukowski waking up with a pile of trash beneath him of all his bad poems. I just wonder how many masterpieces have been thrown away.
In his poem "Good try all" he reflects on the ladies of his past. The poem starts with the line"Did I fail those fragile tulips?" This is a line that almost anyone can relate to, when thinking of past lovers. He goes on to complain "Remembering all the ladies I`ve have known who at the beginning of the affair were already discouraged and unhappy because of their miserable previous experience with other men." In this line he answers his first question with a no. He puts the blame for the failed relationships on the women and their previous lovers. This makes me think about how hard realtionships are, because each person brings their past with them into a new beginning. I find myself thinking how lucky I am to have my soon to be wife in my life. In the end of the poem he states " I can`t think of anyone of those ladies, I`d rather not have known no matter what they tell of me now." The last line indicates he messed up as well, otherwise why would they be talking bad of him now. These couple of lines show Bukowski has a soft side to him , because he still reflects about the lovers of his past. He is thankful of them being in his life, no matter how short the time might of been. It makes me think about past frienships or whatever and realize that there is not always someone to blame, it just is what it is.
In his poem Farewell, Farewell(pg172) he writes about his upcoming death. He writes about how he has earned his stripes by surviving and living in this unhappy world. He writes "In the face of this unhappy world, who but a fool would want to linger". This line demonstrates his true distain for the world that he shall soon be leaving. He has seen too much pain, and felt too much despair, to want to fight any harder just to survive a few more days, weeks, or months, in this miserable world. The same tone is used in his poem "Put out the light"(pg215) where he states "Most, given a choice between eternal life or death, will always choose the latter". This line demonstrates his belief that enough is enough. That there comes a point in everyone`s life, who has lived long enough, where they are ready to say no mas.
One of his most telling poems about his life is "Proper credentials are needed to join"(pg207) in this poem he demonstrates his dislike for those who he believes have been "Untouched by life". He brings up that he has been arrested 15 to 20 times, and that he has four D.U.I.`S. "Then he states" I have been drinking, with gusto, for 54 years and intend to continue to do so". He believes that the scars that drinking has brought him is his badge of courage. In this poem he complains about "These young,blithe,slender,unscathed,delicate creatures who claim to have vanquished the dreaded evil of drink"(pg208)! John Edwards a former two time presidential candidate often used the term "Two Americas". Bukowski believes in the two World`s theory, the world in which most of us live in and that is often written about, and the dark alley world that he lives in, that is so rarely written about. In this poem he does not tolerate those who live in the first world pretending they know anything about the latter world.
The poem "Notes on some poetry"(PG199) is a poem where Bukowski describes poetry he does not like. He staes"These are poets who write what I call the comfortable clever poem."What I think about when I read that line is the absence of emotion that is in some literature. It makes me think back to a professor of mine who told me that the greatest weakness a writer can have is shame. If one self edits their emotions in order to not embarrass themselves, then they lose their writing voice. Bukowski later refers to this problem as a "Life gone cozy". What I believe he means by that line, is that if life becomes too comfortable for someone, it will become hard for them to create raw emotion in poetry. I think about a writer who once told me that happy people don`t write. I think that is what this poem is about, that it takes pain to create great literature.
The "Buzz" on page 201 is about gamblers at a horse track. This poem talks about the pain that comes from a life of gambling. I think back to my many expierences with gambling, and I am thankful that I am far away from that life now. He writes"They come day after day and lose and lose". What he is talking about here is how harmful an addiction can be. These pour souls care about nothing, but making their next bet. The life of a gambler is wrapped around nothing, but pain. He talks about horse players here who are in many ways the worst of the lot. He talks about how they are dirty and don`t care about what they wear. He writes at the end of the poem that "Its the roar of the impossible". I think about the impossible odds against a gambler, when reading this line. A gambler is trying to create their own reality, which is very similar to a writer. That desire to escape reality, is the reason why so many great writers fall victim to addictions. He writes in the poem"You`ve have got to have it now and then, you `ve got to. A shot of fire, an explosion!" This make me reflect on why people choose to live a certain way. What he does not understand here is that you can get that shot of fire, without burning yourself alive.
In his poem "A simple Kindness"(pg203) he reflects on how hard it is to find immortality.He searches for immortality by creating great art that will last way beyond his heart beat. He writes"Immortality can be a very brief expierence". He is complaining about when he gets drunk, he thinks he has written a masterpiece. However when he wakes up he realizes that it was just a piece of trash. In the end of the poem he writes"The best thing about self rejection is that it saves that obnoxious duty from being somebody else`s problem." This is his way of talking about all the poems he has thrown away in his search for immortality. I reflect on how tough writing can be. It is not easy to put yourself out there for the world to reject, but that is what great writers do.I can picture Bukowski waking up with a pile of trash beneath him of all his bad poems. I just wonder how many masterpieces have been thrown away.
In his poem "Good try all" he reflects on the ladies of his past. The poem starts with the line"Did I fail those fragile tulips?" This is a line that almost anyone can relate to, when thinking of past lovers. He goes on to complain "Remembering all the ladies I`ve have known who at the beginning of the affair were already discouraged and unhappy because of their miserable previous experience with other men." In this line he answers his first question with a no. He puts the blame for the failed relationships on the women and their previous lovers. This makes me think about how hard realtionships are, because each person brings their past with them into a new beginning. I find myself thinking how lucky I am to have my soon to be wife in my life. In the end of the poem he states " I can`t think of anyone of those ladies, I`d rather not have known no matter what they tell of me now." The last line indicates he messed up as well, otherwise why would they be talking bad of him now. These couple of lines show Bukowski has a soft side to him , because he still reflects about the lovers of his past. He is thankful of them being in his life, no matter how short the time might of been. It makes me think about past frienships or whatever and realize that there is not always someone to blame, it just is what it is.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
blog number one
My most memorable experience with literacy came when I had to take an entrance writing exam to enroll at CSI. At the time, I thought that I had good writing abilities due to my previous education. Once I got the results back I realized that I was wrong. It was a serious blow to my ego not being able to pass the entrance test into the school. I was forced to take a pre-college writing class in order to enter the college. My professor introduced me to literature. He sent me out to get books by Charles Bukowski. I learned how interesting and how creative writing could be. I not only got interested in reading, but I also felt the desire to create literature. I went from not being able to write a paragraph, to becoming a English major within a six month period. Who would know how much that course would change my life?
I have since taught students literature in different arenas. My goal is to give the gift that professor gave to me to other people. It is a great gift to be able to express your emotions through written word. I will forever be thankful for being introduced to that powerful tool. It has changed my life and has changed who I am as a person forever.
I have since taught students literature in different arenas. My goal is to give the gift that professor gave to me to other people. It is a great gift to be able to express your emotions through written word. I will forever be thankful for being introduced to that powerful tool. It has changed my life and has changed who I am as a person forever.
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